Dictionaries of Malaysian Politicians

Don't get tripped up by these terms

By Reme Ahmad

THREE terms should be banned from the dictionaries of politicians and officials, especially in this part of the world. They are:
1. Don't speculate.
2. Don't panic.
3. Don't politicise.

1. Don't speculate!
I was reminded of this infamous trio of terrible terms after reading about a fire at a 200-year old temple in Terengganu in Malaysia.

The Terengganu police said he was told by the fire brigade that the fire was started when a lit joss stick fell to the floor. There was nothing to suggest otherwise.

But coming so soon after a series of attacks on churches, mosques and a Sikh temple, there must have been rumours about the "actual" cause of fire.

So in no time at all, Terengganu police chief Mohd Shukri Dahlan said: "Police investigation showed that there was no criminal element or sabotage or mischief involved, so I hope that the people of Terengganu will accept this as something that happened on its own.

"I don't want any speculation on elements of sabotage, race or religion," he said.

The media headline of course simply said: "Don't speculate over temple fire - police". But saying "don't speculate" will actually have the opposite effect. It tells the public that whatever the official explanation given for an event, there are many other people who disblieve this.

And so the kayporter (kaypo reporter) in all of us will start calling around to find out the alternative explanations!

2. Don't panic!
Another infamous term is of course 'don't panic'. I have seen Singaporean and other officials around the world saying this when H1N1 flu and SARS broke out, and at the height of the financial crisis last year.

Of course, saying "don't panic" is a strong signal to the public that something big is happening. And so, PLEASE panic.

The signal that these words send is that many people are already NEAR panic, so what are you doing at the kitchen table sharing chicken pie with your pet dog?

As an example, just two months ago on the eve of 2010, the Bali governor said there was an indication of a terrrorist attack on the holiday island.

The US Embassy in Indonesia promptly relayed the information on its website. The embassy said the Bali Tourism Board had widely distributed the governor's message, which added: "Please don't panic, but put your security system to full alert".

You can bet that many people stayed away from Bali's hot pubs on the eve of Jan 1 and the following nights.

3. Don't politicise an issue!
This term, often used by politicians everywhere, "don't politicise" an issue, is more difficult to talk about.

Do they mean the issue is outside the realm of politics, so should not be talked about? Or do they mean that bringing it into politics will trivialise an important issue?

Or is it the other way round? A trivial issue becomes important because one "politicises" it?

My take is this: A politician is saying his foe should not bring a particular issue into politics. Only HE could do that, not others!

Because, really, which issue is not "politicised" these days? Which issue is so far out that it cannot be linked to politics at all?

- Religion? (In these days of political Islam, the Christian right and Hindu activists?)

- Education? (Foreigners will have to pay more to put their children in Singapore schools)

- The Internet? (Look at issues concerning Google in China)

- High-tech equipment? (Look at the GT200 bomb devices in Thailand and submarines in Malaysia)

What I do find intriguing is when a politician, with all seriousness, tells another NOT to politicise an issue; is he kidding anyone?

So the next time you see a headline saying Don't Speculate, twitter friends to ask what is REALLY happening out there.

If someone says, Don't Panic, put on your jogging shoes and run for the exits.

And when someone says Don't Politicise something, look very closely at him; he might have just landed from Mars.